Non-Jews are for practice
Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
