this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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