I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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