she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
