So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
