Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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