This is not my ceiling
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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