Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
