im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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