im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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