Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
