Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it's like heaven, but drunker
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
