Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
