Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
