We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
