At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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