As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
