Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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