I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
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Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm just crazy horny about you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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