You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
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Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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