nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize