Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
