its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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