My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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