sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize