Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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