So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize