You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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