Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
