That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize