HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
