Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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