Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
