its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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