she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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