i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
