a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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