he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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