So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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