The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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