That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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