yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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