Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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