hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
