The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
