He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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