Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
