I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
