Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
