it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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