This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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