return my video game
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
