you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
