no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
