do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
