i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
