Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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