and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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