youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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