Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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